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| Six weeks until the end of school. I went back through and read some posts from the beginning of the year, and it's interesting. I thought I'd stay at CC for a while, but about a month and a half ago I gave my official resignation to the boss. I don't feel too weird, knowing I don't have a new job. I get paid through August, so I feel I have some time. What I don't feel I have, though, is the direction. I've been thinking about EVERYTHING a lot the last few weeks and I just can't decide on ANYTHING. It is getting frustrating, waiting on God, trying to decipher what He's telling me versus what I'm telling me. I so badly want to make the right decision(s) in the next stage(s) of my life...I just don't know what they are. Time will tell, I suppose.
Oh, and Daniel, since I know you (might) read this, I want to express to you my sorrow over the passing of Grandad. I know how much he meant to you. If you need anything, please call....know that I still care and always will.
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| I was the Old Master for the Hicks Pledge Class in the spring of 2004 to the Alpha Gamma chapter of Alpha Phi Omega. Early this morning, one of my PTs, James Thangarajan, passed away. There are so many people who knew him and loved him, and I am one of the lucky few to say that my life has been touched by his. We will always love you, James, and you will never be forgotten.
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| I know you'll all think I'm a dork for saying this, but you HAVE TO WATCH "THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN BAND" ON FRIDAY ON FOX!!!
My friend, Adam Beck, and another guy who graduated from PHS a few years before me are in a band called Denver and the Mile High Orchestra. They're currently in the top 4 bands (of 12) and depending on last Friday's votes they'll make it to the top 3. Then tomorrow night, after the show is over, you call the number to put them into the finale, and maybe even to be the next great American band. I know it's kind of corny, because it's exactly like American Idol, etc, and I know that American Idol is a major guilty pleasure for many of us and none of us ever admit that we watch much less VOTE for the shows, but you HAVE TO this time. I love Adam, and he's been a wonderful friend to me for many, many years. And Denver has worked so hard to get to where he and the band are at today. They strive to glorify God in everything they do, and win or lose I know they'll give Him all the glory for the talents and gifts the band has. So even if you don't like their songs, VOTE! Denver (he graduated from PHS in 1995, four years before I did) is the lead singer and Adam is the trumpet player that stands on the far right as you look at the stage. He's got long-ish hair and is usually un-shaven....very easily recognized.
Interesting story....
When Adam graduated from high school (PHS 2000), he decided to not go on to college, and at the time, to me at least, it seemed that I was the only one who thought he was making the best decision for his life. I just knew that he would live and thrive on God's grace and the talents He had given to Adam. About a year and a half (or so...it's been a long time, I can't really remember) after graduation, Adam decided to move to Nashville to join Denver and the Mile High Orchestra (DMHO for short). After just a few months in Nashville, Adam had a neck injury that was so severe that we thought he may not play the trumpet ever again. God choose to heal him, however, and ever since Adam has been living his testimony with Christ the center, giving all credit to the One who gave him everything. Everyone thought that not going to college was a bad decision, then the neck injury, and through it God has shown His faithfulness and goodness, and now DMHO - with my Adam!! - are (almost!) in the finals of a nationally aired talent program. GOD IS SO GOOD!!!
So please Please PLEASE watch and vote tomorrow!! It's on Fox at 9pm. 
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| Tomorrow is the last Lafayette Central Catholic school day I will be waking up on Linda Lane.
Excited??
Haven't decided yet.
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| I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was
I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so
I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you
I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was
I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello
Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
~Brandon Heath "I'm Not Who I Was"
And Brandon says...
"It took a lot of courage to write this song. God is so great. He loves us so well and perfectly. I think one of the lines that is the most important in this song is '...the thing I find most amazing in amazing grace is the chance to give it out.' I believe that Christ loved us so that we can love others and I hope that you can hear that in this song and you are inspired to go and love well."
I've been struggling a lot with what has been going on with Daniel lately. I know the words of this song are TRUTH and that forgiveness and love are all that matter in this world, but I'm so HURT that I'm having a hard time seeing that clearly. God is so good...He is so amazing, so forgiving and so loving. His love covers a multitude of hurt, even MY hurt. Holding on to pain and unforgiveness is not what He has planned for my life. But it's not so easy to say "take my will and make it Yours." Easy to say maybe but not easy to do - even for the most willing spirit!
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